I can't know where you have been or where you are going. I don't know what you feel and I can never know what I would have done in your shoes. All I can know is who you are now and what you stand for. I know sometimes what's in our hearts gets lost on the way out. But to truly love someone is to love all of them, even the parts you don't like, even their sins, their shortcomings, their faults. Every part of them, even the parts you can't stand. But its not despite their flaws the you love them, rather its because of their flaws, the way that they complete that person, the total acceptance that you give them  and which you receive in return. This is the only way to change a heart, to shed light and hope on even the blackest of circumstances.

I wish I could remember why I chose to come to this earth. I wish I knew what that critical decision was, what I was thinking in that moment in which I decided to stand for what was right. What was going through my mind? Was I scared, or was I brave? Who did I lose that day? I wish I could remember my Savior and how he stood at that day and fought for my agency, for my chance to live. Did someone dear to me stand across the line? Was there anger or sadness written on their face? Who did I lose in that great battle, the eternal sadness that fills me at times when it seems there is nothing wrong. It was a very dear friends, I know I did not want to leave them, but I knew what was right. I wonder how well I knew Lucifer. Did I perhaps at one time look up to him, see the reason in his plan? What or who was it that influence me on that day to make the decision to follow my Father?

Now that I am here on Earth and the veil is before my eyes I wonder who, if it were removed, I would recognize. This life is meant to be a trial so for the most part Heavenly Father I believe has placed us with those we probably were not close with. But then there are those moments when life is toughest, when the world presses down upon us, and we question our decision that day to stand by the Savior that the sends us someone special. Someone who was a dear friend. The one perhaps who stood beside us as we fought in Heaven, who held our hands when the final stroke fell and Lucifer was cast out, who hugged me as I cried over those that i had loved who were now lost forever. The one who I stood close to and who calmed my fears as we prepared to leave our eternal home to go to a strange and foreign place where we would hurt and be challenged and have to suffer pain and affliction and trials. What did we say to each other at that day? Deep in my heart I feel the echo of a promise, a promise that we would meet again. That we would find each other on this earth, and no matter what the cost do everything in our power to get each other safely home where we would dwell with God always. I feel when I face critical moments in my life that is when I find those friends. We are brought together to support each other, just as the Angel comforted the Savior in the garden. I know this deep in my heart where the voices of eternity echo in my soul, "You are not alone dear child, you are not alone."